One lousy presentation

Doesn't make for bad work.

The process is always going to be fuzzy... a little confusing here and there, and that's why our external critics aren't always in the right position to judge our project in it's entirety. Sometimes it's hard to get our word across to strangers in a matter of 5 minutes, when much has been done throughout the entire semester. And honestly, as a people-person, I think it's better if critics went around with a smile on their face.

My presentation today didn't move in the desired direction... The critics were still left confused as what my topic was about. And one said that self-identity was a project that everyone could do. But I have to rebut that self-identity has vast topics and many ways of representing it. And I wish that I had more time to explore on this semester... I had four studio modules, and I take pride and time in each and everyone of them and that probably left me hanging for my FYP. Not enough time... not enough effort because I was distributing my creative juices to 3 other studio modules.

Research Journal

What a relief! I'm finally done with my research journal... here are some photos...

Nerves run high.

It's amazing how much we have to talk about, or Complain about our FYPs. We're hardly done with it, we have been too busy throughout the semester with other projects, and the stress never ceases with the constant pushing, but nothing good comes out of it.

So all of us, every single one of us has a damn opinion of the FYP... we're individuals, we cope differently. And it's good that we've an unofficial forum right now on Facebook as we voice out our concerns and complaints. But sometimes, certain things that other people may say is as equivalent to stabbing a dagger right through the center of your skull, ramming right into the spot between your eyebrows.

And sometimes, you so wish that you could pour acid down other people's throats and probably leave them to suffer in agony as their throats burn, sizzle and melt. Never speaking, only croaking like old frogs in the swampy mess that they're in.

But in the end, nothing good ever comes out of wishing someone else bad, but at least I'm penning down my frustrations.

A fully hand rendered poster

Apart from the colored bit.

Astrid suggested that I use my map as the poster, instead of the ones that were created from Photoshop. And I like it better when I'm able to use my hands combined with traditional skills to create something from scratch. I don't think the computer is able to come up with such a result because of the lines and such.. I've to say that I like this tonnes better than my previous posters.

My hand holds the pen

Less than it holds the mouse... unfortunately.

I have to say that my regular daily routine involves getting up in the morning, then using my big toe to kick the switch to my CPU and letting the internet run even when I'm not always by my PC's side. It shows you how attached I am to my computer and everything inside it. If it were a guy, it'll be my husband, and if it were a girl, it'll be my twin. We can never be separated! NEVER!

And it's just too bad that much of my time has been wasted away when I browse through Facebook, hoping that I'll get plenty of notifications to see what's the latest news or gossip. Sometimes I anticipate a certain message from a certain someone from a certain democratic country... And certainly so, I'd get slightly down when the notifying box comes up empty.

It isn't just Facebook that has robbed me of my life. Photoshop and Illustrator has done it too... Whenever it comes to designing posters quickly, I rely on my bestfriends PSD and AI to get me through in a matter of minutes, for something that has to been shown the next day. But the quality gets compromised, and honestly so, I'm not too keen on playing with typography when I do not own good fonts in my PC. And I was taught a good lesson today when my three posters did not come through for me during my presentation in class. I could tell that Astrid didn't like it. But then a miracle happened when I showed her my hand-rendered doodle-map and her eyes sparkled from the pits of despair. I guess my style emulates the best of my personality and character and I'll be using that style to continue with my FYP.

Poster 02 - Systems

Inspiration - HDBs

I have been thinking about systems a lot. And someone asked me a good question - what is systems? I couldn't answer him entirely. But I had a pictorial image of what a system should be. Something organized. Something gridded. Very much like my life, or the way we are living right now. Everything has to be planned somehow as much as we don't want it to.
Here are two pictures of the same scenery from my window. Note how each home becomes part of a bigger whole, almost like the circuit of a microchip. And it really tells you how much we know about the people living around us right now - we hardly know our neighbours despite living in such a condensed environment. We go around with our daily lives, unaware of what other people are doing. But sometimes you really do wonder WHAT are these people doing... I've been hearing this distant electronic doorbell ringing from my window, and I do wonder which home has been irking me so much with this gentle sound, and who keeps coming and going from this flat.

But there are ways to look at the same surrounding. I kept my focus off in the second picture and the lights become hypnotic. They do not tell you anything at all. It becomes dreamlike And I think we often look through this lens. For instance when we daydream, or when we're thinking about our own thoughts (which happens all the time), we do not care about anything else. This describes a selfish situation, dazing off becomes an escape from reality.

Map System

Here's just part of the incomplete sketch of the 'map' of my life.

Poster 01 - Systems

I'll explain in detail tomorrow.

Simple Shapes

Here's a video of how the illustrator, Bob Staake, uses simple shapes to convey his message in his work. And this video obviously shows the war between the Republicans and the Democrats.. lol quite a funny depiction I'd say.

Anyway, the reason why I'm putting this video up is because things are meant to seen in a simple manner sometimes. After all I am planning to include symbols and type into my book(s), and I definitely need to remind myself that anything that goes beyond what the eyes can see and what the mind can comprehend becomes useless.

Term Break Experiment 03

This was meant to be an experiment with structure. No ideas attached... But this structure inspired me with other variations that can benefit me. I have come up with one other system, but I've yet to do that. Probably some time next week though as I'm really tired now from all the thinking and typing.

Term Break Experiment 02

This system represents the memories that we have of one another. Memories are all stored in our heads although it existed as reality a long time ago, or just a few hours back. Books are very much the containers of memories (e.g. photo albums, biographies, diaries...), but this particular structure works as a connotation of memories.

Although paper is considered as three-dimensional, its flatness makes it almost two-dimensional if nothing is done to it. This paper represents the memories that exist in our heads. It is two-dimensional, it is non-existent; just a fleeting memory of the past. However as we try to dig through these memories, or try to make it exist once more (either by catching up with old pals or trying to do something similar to what you did in the past) makes it 'real'. Hence the paper begins to become form. Therefore in this system of mine, each page becomes more and more dimensional, referring to the digging up of the past to make it present.

Term Break Experiment 01

Here's to show you my process in getting the book done.
I'm inspired by the idea of reading the book as a structure, rather than as content. In a way, it speaks a lot about the relationships that I have with people. After getting the replies for my recently posted questionnaire, I realized that many of the impressions that they have of me are somewhat close to the truth, or never near it.

This current system/book represents reading a person both ways. Either as a normal book, by flipping the pages from front to back (first impressions or assumptions of people), or either by looking at it structurally and seeing it for what it is (the actual persona).

Presentation 2 Handouts

Just to post some pictures of the handouts that I created for my 2nd presentation.
The handouts were designed in a way where the binding interacted with the content. The slivers of words had to be connected to the colored boxes that it matched in order for the paragraph to be read. I meant to show the importance of the structure of the book; beyond the idea of the spine as glueing pages together, but of one that connects to the content.

Developing the Structure

I have been experimenting with maybe one or two book structures during the week long break. And I realized that my book will eventually be a REALLY thick book because it has to be structurally sound and inviting.

So this is what I have in mind:
- A book with 6 systems (not too much, not too little... enough to relate the interconnections in my life)
- Using the chain stitch to bind each system into a book block
- Hard cover

When I first chose this project...

I thought about writing about my life. I chose a project that could kill two birds with one stone. I wanted to create something that I would be proud of, something that I could keep as the years flow by, and something that presents itself to other people clearly what I have decided to do. Oh yeah, and the bit about killing two birds with one stone; a keepsake for me and a project for an academic assessment.

I wanted to do something that involved the people around me as well. Since this is a self-identity project, it is best to involve the foundation blocks in my life; the people around me who build me up (and possibly tear me down at times). And it wasn't just the people I knew that influenced me. Strangers do to, and I want to commend them for doing so. And that is the reason why we choose to read autobiographies, why we are so in tuned into friends of our friends on Facebook despite not knowing them at all, or why we read other stranger's blogs. Every single little thing that other people do, manages to influence us in someway or another.

I'm going to put a news article in this current entry, because after seeing his video interview, this stranger from Texas made me think about my life in a more meaningful manner.

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For man cut nearly in two by train, ‘life is good’
Despite horrific injuries, he dialed 911: ‘I wanted to see my babies grow up’

By Mike Celizic

TODAYShow.com contributor

updated 9:28 a.m. ET Sept. 22, 2008

For more than two years after he was cut in half by a train, Truman Duncan avoided media requests for interviews as he recovered from his injuries and went back to a full and productive life. Now, he’s speaking out to let others, including soldiers who have suffered traumatic injuries like his, know that life is still very much worth living.

“Life is good,” Duncan told TODAY’s Matt Lauer Monday in New York. “Life goes on.”

The 38-year-old from Cleburne, Texas, pronounced this from a wheelchair, the stub of his right thigh showing from his pants leg.

Duncan is breaking his media silence now, he said, “just to let people know how I’m doing. I had so many people inquiring. And to help soldiers who are having a little bit of trouble — they’ve lost their limbs — and let them know life is good, goes on, you know.”

‘I think I’m cut in two’
A video had just aired that recounted the horrific June 2006 accident that took the rest of Duncan’s right leg as well as his left leg, pelvis and kidney. The railroad switchman fell off a moving train car at the Gunderson Southwest rail yard in Cleburne.

For some 20 seconds, Duncan hung onto the car, trying to run backward to escape being run over. But he fell underneath the car, got caught in the undercarriage, and was run over by steel wheels supporting 20,000 pounds of dead weight.

Remarkably, he remained conscious and had the presence of mind to call 911 on his cell phone. On the 911 tape, he sounds out of breath but remarkably calm.

“I need 911. CareFlite. I think I'm cut in two,” Duncan says on the tape.

“Someone got run over?” the operator asks.

“It was me,” Duncan responds. “I guess I'm going into shock. Hurry up, ma'am, because I'm about to pass out.”

It took 45 minutes for responders to arrive and extricate Duncan from under the train. Despite massive blood loss, he stayed conscious and even managed to call his family while he was waiting to be rescued.

Duncan has three children. His eldest son, Trey, 19, recounted the conversation for NBC News: “I told him I loved him with all my heart, and he was the best dad I could wish for.”

That best dad now plays catch with Trey, flinging a football with pinpoint accuracy from his motorized wheelchair.

‘God had some hand’
Dr. David Smith of Harris Methodist Fort Worth Hospital is the surgeon who was on call in the emergency room when Duncan was airlifted in. He calls the cheerful man with the stylish goatee nothing short of a miracle.

“When I first heard the report … I thought for sure I’d be going down to pronounce somebody dead,” Smith, who came to New York with Duncan, told Lauer. “When I got there, he was critical, he was unresponsive and his blood pressure was quite low.”

So, Lauer asked, what kept Duncan from bleeding to death before he got to the hospital?

“God had some hand in that, I’m sure,” Smith replied without hesitation. “His physiology is remarkable, and possibly the weight of the train itself helped keep some pressure on his arteries.”

Smith also said that Duncan’s will to live had a lot to do with it. Duncan himself has said that during his ordeal, his Red Cross training told him he was going into shock and losing large quantities of blood. But he also said he never thought that he was going to die.

“I wanted to see my babies grow up, just like everybody else. I just wanted to live so I could see my kids grow up,” he told Lauer.

Where did he get that incredible will, Lauer asked.

“I don’t know. It’s a good trait,” he said, his soft, low-key voice redolent of his Texas home. “I guess from Dad and my mom. Mom’s real strong-headed. Daddy is, too.”

23 surgeries
Smith and other doctors spent 3 ½ hours saving Duncan’s life and cleaning gravel, dirt and grass from his wounds. He was in a coma for three weeks and underwent at least 23 surgeries over the next four months before finally being released from the hospital.

Duncan’s insurance paid for remodeling his house to make it wheelchair-friendly, and Duncan went back to work at his old company, which repairs and refurbishes rail cars.

Duncan told NBC that it now takes him longer to do some things, but he still does everything he used to do, including swimming and playing with his kids. He drives himself in a car equipped with hand controls. And he’s looking forward to learning to get around with prosthetic limbs, a long process that he said will begin next week.

Lauer expressed amazement at Duncan’s indomitable will and infectious good spirits. He concluded that there’s just one reason that Duncan is still alive: “Surely, someone’s got a plan for you.”

“I guess so,” Duncan replied.

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Reading this news article truly made me think about my own support system. My family, my friends... The more I want this project to come to fruition. And this man reminded me of the one and only who gave me this life as well; God. I have focused so much on the people around me that I almost didn't include God at all. Throughout my life, I've depended so much on the Lord to actually give me the things that I need or want, and with divine help, I've managed to get into schools through almost impossible circumstances. I am, and I will include the One I believe in. While many of the people I know are either agnostics or atheists, I want to proclaim that I have come so far with some divine help. Having faith makes one a different person too.

Another thing that struck me in his interview was that he mentioned about how his future passed him in front of his eyes while he was severed on the train track. Not the present, but the future. And I think that says a lot about him and his will to survive. I hope that this project of mine not only records memories of the past and present, but something that I could look back into when I'm in the future. To tell me how I've grown in structure, and in words. One that's far more than a photo album, or a blog. Something that one can thumb through, of a quality that is so different from the digital world that we live in today. Think of archaelogical digs and finds, and I'd compare this book to that.

My motion graphics vid! For Elements

Although this isn't related to my FYP, I thought of using this blog as a daily blog as well. So long it's related to school. I could find slivers of links between this and FYP...

Ready with my mock-up

I feel really bad for not working on my FYP throughout my holidays - I have been sick. I almost scared myself when I puked out many mouthfuls of 'blood' (digested blood plum made it look that way), I kept sneezing so I had to sleep for at least 16 hours with intervals each day.

Anyways, I will be working on my mock-up for the next few days. And hopefully I'll get something out of it. As I'm short of cash, this mock-up is going to be made of newspapers. Since I will be constructing a book for my final project, as of now I intend to learn the skills of making a basic book block. The reason why I'm using newspapers is because it's 'free', and I like being environmentally friendly. Besides I think the existing text and pictures would make it a really interesting textural/graphic piece to work with. Oh yeah... stacking it makes a thick book block too!

What I did:
1. Cut sheets of newspaper into A4 sized sheets - took me a damn long time.
2. Made folios out of 10 sheets of newspaper - nice thickness to work with.
3. Poked holes into folios for binding.
4. Read instructions for 'coptic binding'.
5. Started threading and sewing. But I screwed up for the first 4 folios and had to start from scratch again.
6. Got the hang of sewing the folios together to form a book block. Voila!











Now that I'm done with the book block, I'll be making changes to the pages either by cutting, scoring or messing it up. Just so I could use it to represent the system of my life symbolically through its structure.

But before I make any gashes or slices, I think it'll be better if I drew out my systems, using the information that I have gathered thus far. I don't want to make a new book block anytime soon.. It's hard work!